wedding day: groom’s point of view

weddings have always been associated with brides.  wedding fairs are called bridal fairs, magazines… bridal magazines, entourage… bridal entourage.  weddings are meant to be the day of the bride…  as most would say.

here i am, the groom, writing about the day of my bride.  wouldn’t it be a welcome change to hear a wedding story from a groom’s point of view?  🙂

around 7 months ago, when we got engaged and started the whole wedding preparations adventure, we decided to have a very personal wedding.  not grand…  not big…  but something simple and uniquely us.  for the following 7 months up to the very last minute before the ceremony, we worked long and hard on making this dream of ours a reality.

around 7 months ago, when we got engaged and started the whole wedding preparations adventure, we decided to have a very personal wedding.  not grand…  not big…  but something simple and uniquely us.  for the following 7 months up to the very last minute before the ceremony, we worked long and hard on making this dream of ours a reality.

friday.  a day before the wedding.

notwithstanding having slept late the night before doing yet even more wedding projects, i still woke up early.  excited?  definitely.  but more so because i still had to prepare things to bring to tagaytay: stuff for the ceremony, stuff for pictorials, stuff for honeymoon.  i had to do it quick since i planned to be at tagaytay early so that certain errands may still be accomplished.  good thing, selle, my then fiancée and now my wife, was constantly communicating with me to remind me of things needed.  if not for her, i most probably would’ve forgotten something. 🙂

my mom arrived… and our ride followed… and we’re off to tagaytay. 

with yet so many thing to do… i opted to be early in tagaytay.  i asked also cel, our “coordinator” (she’s just a volunteer friend not a pro), to join us as the extra hand would be of much needed help.  picked-up her up along the way and got delayed significantly but eventually arrived at balai taal mid-afternoon.



balai taal was a treasure of a find… as good or even better than the pictures we saw at the net.  ganda talaga.  as we entered our villa and was toured around the place by nelson, the caretaker, i knew right then that our decision in choosing balai for our wedding preps was a correct one.  tinawagan ko agad si selle to share my excitement and joy and asked her to go up to tagaytay immediately, not only because i miss her already but because i wanted to share what i’m feeling then with her.

there were still tasks to do and yet so little time.  after fixing things at our room, i endorsed some tasks to cel while i went out to meet our officiant/ninong/friend, ado and the whole family at starbucks.  konting daldalan lang and then we decided to drop by bella vista, our wedding venue and the place where they’ll be staying for the night.  as we arrived, we already saw kaye’s (our caterer) stuff already at the venue.  since our wedding will be early in the morning, they had to bring their stuff the day before.  ado just dropped off their things and then we went to balai.  eksakto pagdating namin, eh kararating rin naman nina selle and her family.  their reaction about balai was consistent with ours… ganda naman talaga. 🙂



a short while later, ado found a spot at the uppermost terrace, brought out his laptop and started typing his preaching for our ceremony.  selle and i decided to “disturb” him for a while as we went thru the ceremony.  exciting and touching at the same time as we imagined how the ceremonies will go through.  it really helps also that our officiant knows us personally kaya madali lang magbato ng ideas and suggestions sa isa’t-isa.  half-an-hour later, we’re done.  ang bilis, no?  🙂

it was getting late and we still had to go to light of the world (accommodations for our entourage members, ushers/usherettes, emcees, hmua and selected guests) and flowers of may.  no time to waste kaya pagka-discuss kay ado, alis na kami agad. 

first stop was light of the world where tita cora, the owner, was already waiting for us.  we settled our account and finalized room assignments and then we’re back at balai (nalimutan namin kasi contract w/ flowers of may so we had to go back).  btw, lanie acedillo (our makeup artist) and her team arrived at light of the world while we were there.  we decided to let them stay there as their call time was 1:30 am.  grabe, ang aga, no?  🙂

since it was evening already, we decided it would be better for selle to just stay at balai, eat dinner and rest already.  i’d just do the remaining tasks.  alis naman agad ako para magpunta sa flowers of may.  kasama ko na si cel this time kasi she’ll be staying at light of the world.  flowers of may closes at 7 pm.  we arrived 5 mins before 7.  whew.  i just gave them the bags needed for the secondary sponsors, discussed a few adjustments sa contract and then settled our account tapos alis na din agad.

we then proceeded to light of the world again.  good thing, radz, one of the emcees was already there so i was able to discuss the program with him along with cel.  being given a copy of the program beforehand and radz being an experienced emcee made the discussion quite quick and easy.  natapos din kami agad and it was getting quite late.  i couldn’t wait for the ushers/usherettes anymore.  i’d just have to orient them early the following morning since they’d be at bella vista early naman.  plus they generally knew their roles na naman.

arrived back at balai and selle was still up.  d daw sya makatulog.  but i urged her to get back to bed and get some sleep.  i assured her i’d take care of what else is needed to be taken cared of.  i had a very quick dinner and then went up to do several more things:  prepare the prizes for the games, the gifts for the parents, the table trivia cards, the program…  all these i did with the help of our matron-of-honor, mommy rose, and my sister, rosa.  after which, they all went to bed while i started writing my vows. 

everyone was in bed and it was very late already at gusto ko na din matulog but i still had to wait for the arrival of 2 of our secondary sponsors, wengi and mother, who would be staying also at balai.  wala na kasi ibang sasalubong sa kanila kung matulog na din ako.  i passed the time by organizing stuff and then eventually they arrived.  i just showed them their beds, prepared to sleep and then went to bed.  it was around 11 pm.

saturday.  the wedding day.



i woke up around 1 am.  selle was up at almost the same time.  lanie and her team were scheduled to arrive around 1:30 am… and they did arrive on time.  syempre setup agad sila.  selle and mommy rose was ready.  we had to wake up wengi and mother because lanie needed 4 people ready for her first batch.  8 kasi naka-linya na makeup-an ni lanie that’s why she was there that early.  pagka-setup nila, trabaho agad.  it was around 2 am.

3 am… bob nicolas (our videographer) and his team arrived.  i met them at the parking area and chatted a while.  shortly after, along came fol rana jr (our photographer) and his team.  we entered the villa altogether.

fol and his team immediately went to work with the wedding paraphernalia.  bob and his team naman setup the lights and his workstation for instant editing for the onsite avp.  grabe, despite this early, mga energizer bunnies na sila.  ako naman, eh palipat-lipat from floor-to-floor assisting to their needs.  shortly, the flowers arrived.  a little while later, i realized i needed to prepare na din.  🙂

as i was about to finish dressing up, i asked mother to call bob kasi yun advise nya na tawagin daw sya pag patapos na ako magbihis.  i was tying my shoes at the 2nd flr receiving area nang biglang baba sina bob at russ (fol’s team) at shoot sila agad.  sa dinadami ko ng nakitang wedding albums and wedding videos, i have always thought na pano kaya kung ako na kukunan?  posed ba?  directed?  pano kaya?  well, i just pretended that they were not there.  basta mag-bi-bihis ako.  🙂  siguro it helped din na it was only bob, russ and i who were in the room.  wala ng iba pa.  the male members of the entourage were supposed to be there for pictorials kaso d pa sila dumadating.  it was a blessing in disguise though because i could just imagine if they were there… kantyawan siguro yun.  ka-conscious.  masira ang shoot.  hehe.

pagkabihis baba kami sa living room for pictorials.  even though it was the first time working with russ, the third member of fol’s team, i was at ease during the pictorials.  siguro going thru prenups helped.  plus russ really knows what he was doing.  selle loved the shots of russ so i guess that’s enough proof of his capabilities.  🙂

tapos na pictorials ko.  balik na uli cna russ and bob sa upper level to join the selle’s preps coverage.  sunod-sunod na nagdatingan naman ang members of the male entourage (hehe.  too late.  tapos na pictorials).  dun na din cla nag-bhis with their identical ties.  🙂  akyat naman ako to check on selle and to ask kung ma-makeup-an pa ba talaga ako (bat ba kasi kelangan pa?  😀).  ayun, ni-lagyan ako counting makeup ni lanie.  kelangan daw kasi lalo na with the morning sun.  sya, sya… sige na nga.  hehe.

it was past 5 am already.  i have to be at bella vista to check the preparations there.  said bye to selle, brought some wedding things and, along with the members of the male entourage, went to bella vista.  along the way nakasalubong pa namin 1 van full of our guests… buti na lang nakasalubong namin dahil nakalagpas na sila sa bella.  hehe.



upon arrival at bella vista, i immediately went up the upper garden and my jaw dropped upon seeing the setup.  ang galing talaga ni kaye.  i had to stop for a second just to appreciate it all.  if only there were less things to do, i would’ve just stood there but there were things to do.  i talked to our musicians and clarified their play list.  with just 2 of our ushers/usherettes (julius and daisy) present, i asked them to distribute the table trivia cards on each table.  buti na lang their smart kasi i had to explain it to them just once at nakuha na nila agad.  🙂  then i asked cel to arrange our small gallery at the lower garden.  guests were starting to arrive and i felt like there were still many things to do. 

the next hour or so was somewhat of a blur already.  but with the help of friends and plenty of God’s grace, everything was finally set. 

a little past 7, half an hour later than our original schedule, our wedding ceremony started.

our setting was a bit different.  we had our ceremony at a terrace with only family and members of the entourage.  meanwhile, all our guests are at a floor below at a garden.  the terrace offered the best view of taal hence we wanted our ceremony there.  we were afraid that it would be extremely cold and windy but that morning it wasn’t.  it was just right.  everything was just right as i started my walk towards the ceremony area.  everything was blank then… parang wala ako nakikita.  all i could think of was selle… walking.  that’s all.



and it was her turn to walk.  as a twist… she would start her walk from the garden area and then go up the stairs going to the terrace.  and as i looked down… i saw her looking up… and we just locked eyes.  that moment alone makes the wedding worth re-living over and over.  lost sight of her as she went for the stairs and then i awaited for her sight to emerge out of the hallway.  in most weddings, the church doors are closed before the bridal march.  it creates some drama and it is a moment the groom awaits.  in effect, i had that moment twice… first, as she entered the garden… and then now, as she enters the terrace.

Christian ceremonies are somewhat alien to a majority of filipinos.  for most, the “i do” part happens somewhere in the middle of the ceremony but for Christian ceremonies, it happens at the start.  so comes the “i do” part and i just wanted to reply more than just “i do” so instead i replied, “definitely i do.”  this drew a response from our guests down below (yah, nadinig ko… so malakas siguro.  hehe).  i just wanted to stress how sure i am in what i am doing.  🙂



afterwards, we sat down on our comfy chairs (we used bella vista’s home furniture) and ado started his preaching… even though he was almost interrupted by our flower girl, selle’s favorite niece, who decided it was a perfect time to go to selle, climb up her chair and play with the microphone.  🙂  buti na lang na-restrain din sya.  hehe.  ado was the first to disciple me at church.  he saw me grew in the Christian life.  it was just fitting that he be the one officiating our wedding (plus ninong pa namin sya, ha.  😆).  we were excited to hear his preaching as he was juggling between 2 scriptures throughout the week as he was preparing for our wedding.  he eventually he went back to his original choice because he said it was more appropriate.

the fruit of the Spirit.  galatians 5:22.  in a nutshell, the first marriage (adam and eve) was destroyed by a fruit but our marriage will be strengthened by the fruit of the Spirit.  ganda!  🙂



and then came the exchange of vows.  it’s funny that throughout the preparations, friends kept asking me, “iiyak ka kaya?”  i kept thinking to myself, why?  bakit naman ako iiyak?  anyway, i brought out the card where i wrote down my vows the night before (i knew i couldn’t memorize it so it’s safer to just read it) and started to read.  it sounds easy, right?  read aloud.  just 1 card.  but somehow, around midway through my vows, i started to choke.  patay na.  naiiyak ako.  it was the words.  it was the setting.  it was my love for the woman in front of me.  it was a combination of all of these.  natawa pa nga ako dahil naiiyak ako.  i just couldn’t believe it.  anyway, a videographer once said, it’s always good for video.  🙂

then it was selle’s turn to read her vows.  she started hers the way i ended mine.  our vows had that nice continuity even though we did not reveal our vows to each other.  she was crying even before she started.  probably because i cried.  hehe.  to me that was the highlight of the whole wedding.  a few have said that it was also… especially since the sun showed up exactly as we exchanged our vows (a guest mentioned it although i didn’t notice it). 

the ceremony continued on smoothly and was finished in less than an hour. 

picture-taking sessions were done in 2 parts.  the first part was done at the terrace with family and the entourage members.  while the second part was done at garden level with the guests.  our emcees surprised us by acknowledging our suppliers in between takes.  they probably thought it would be a nice gesture since they knew how much we appreciate our suppliers.  🙂

after all the photo-sessions, we went out for more pictorials while the guests started to have breakfast.



along with fol’s team and ian (bob’s team), we back to balai to take advantage of the numerous photo-ops there.  we thought this would be a perfect time to take pictorials since guests will be lining up and partaking of the food anyway.  with so many photo-ops, it took us over 30 minutes before we got back to bella vista.

as we arrived, the guests were just about finishing their food.  we went through the back door para d kami mahalata at sinalubong naman kaagad kami ni lanie to retouch selle’s makeup and help in achieving her second look. 

a few minutes later, we were welcomed at the reception area and the program started. 

the sun was shining brightly that day and guests found refuge under shades available.  we noticed though the sun was too bright… not hot as i was wearing a complete tuxedo and yet i was not perspiring.  we thought it would be better to cut short the program for the sake of the guests.

only around 40% of the planned program was done.



we then had our thank you speeches.  it was really more of a speech of gratitude and appreciation to all who made our wedding the way it was.  i specifically pointed out specific persons… from suppliers to friends to family…  to each an anecdote was shared.  we just hoped that through it they would realize how much they are appreciated by us.



at the end of the program… our onsite avps were shown.  this brought people out of the shades just to watch the onsite avps.  how were we able to show an avp in an outdoor, daytime wedding?  we used an lcd tv.  🙂

afterwards we mingled with our guests… and even more picture-taking sessions.

we were pleasantly surprised that our guests didn’t leave immediately.  maybe because it was still early?  maybe because the wedding was shorted than usual?  or maybe they just wanted to stay and mingle with us.  whatever the reason, we were happy that most stayed.  🙂

as the guests emptied out the venue, we then shared food with fol and bob with their teams at a round table.  quite fitting that we end it with the ones who will help us remember selle’s day… our day.  🙂

as i said in my vows… and even in my thank you speech, our wedding was not perfect… but it is something we will always cherish and reminisce for the rest of our lives.  and through it, we learned that:

* things will not all go as planned but nobody will notice.  almost half of our plans did not materialize… but talking to our guest, they did not realize most of them.
* don’t expect people to do the same thing you will do if you were in their position.  people are just different.
* avps are crowd pleasers… more so onsites.  watching what just transpired a couple of hours before edited into an mtv is like magic to people.  
* hire professionals.  we didn’t have a coordinator and yet each did their job without supervision.  props to lanie, bob, fol, kaye and the siytangco’s.  (suppliers rating will be on another posting)
* build relationships.  having established relationships with our suppliers reduced stress and made working with them sheer joy.
* not everyone will appreciate some aspects of the wedding.  our piped-in music in between segments was carefully chosen.  some guests raved about it… some totally didn’t notice.
* dare to be different.  put your stamp on your wedding.  it would make it even more memorable… it would make it yours.
 

january 20, 2007 is our day.  a day wherein we set out to showcase our love for each other, express our appreciation to those dear to us and ultimately give glory to God.  and that’s how we’ll always remember it.  🙂